Travelling Back In Time: A Dedication


It’s funny where your mind takes you unexpectedly. As always, I prepared for work this morning, donning the mask of eyeliner; occasional eye shadow; mascara and lip gloss. Despite the recent events in Libya, I mostly listened to my favourite album, which happens to be Iranian. I surprised myself by knowing some of the words and as always  I would smile thinking how much my father would have liked that. Suddenly as I was sat there in front of my mirror, it was like I had stepped into a time machine back in time when I was in my late teens, at Heathrow airport while I was waiting for my father’s arrival from Iran. I remember how he was so late the arrivals lounge was more of less deserted. I waited and waited and waited with my mother. As the lounge emptied further, I sat on the floor willing him to walk through the doors. Finally it worked, the door opened and there he was. I literally ran into his arms. I remember a man also waiting, watching me and smiling. Although it was not on purpose, I liked how he saw the scene and how much my Papa was loved.

Since then, I have stood in that same spot where I sat waiting for my father while waiting for other family members. Each time a part of me still waits for him and sometimes I am surprised when we start to leave and he has yet to arrive. Immersing myself as much as possible into Iranian culture helps me to feel closer to him but it also adds further pain and regret that he’s not here to see what I always promised him would happen.

One song on the album I listened to this morning strikes a particularly painful chord with me and I’d like to share it with you, dedicating it to my Papa. The lyrics are translated below, with a brief description of the video:

 

English Lyrics:

‘Empty’

I go through my diary every night

your name is on every single page of it, I read them and break inside

I tattooed your name all over my body

so you believe, that the one who always remembers you is me.

Whoever asks me how I am, I answer everything is great

nobody knows how much your place is empty here

now, I understand how it feels to be empty 

“empty” means “without you”, “without you” means “empty.”

I always think your absence won’t hurt me tomorrow

but tomorrow comes and I see I want nothing but you.

I dont talk to anybody, there is no funny jokes or laughter

it is obvious that there is no longer spring after winter.

The song repeats the lyrics above until the end, the video is more or less self explanatory. The little boy at the beginning tells his mother, how he misses his grandfather and wants to be with him. He mother replies that he will see him one day in heave. His parents are seperated and unfortunately the little boy dies, his mother is distraught at her son’s graveside but her son appears with his grandfather. “Why are you crying, Mummy? I’m in heaven with Grandpa”. Unfortunately, the song and video was inspired by a true story and unfortunately again – we all have one thing in common. We all die and we all have to say goodbye to our loved ones, whether we want to or we are ready.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Ruby slippers
    Oct 21, 2011 @ 20:00:30

    That memory at Heathrow must be very precious! A moment in time that can be treasured. I also re-live such memories too precious to ever forget! X

    Reply

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