The Long Winding Road

You are exactly how you feel.

If you convince yourself that you are unhappy, that is exactly what you will be.

If you feel you are useless in your job, that is exactly what you will be.

If you feel that you are a writer, that is exactly what you will be.

Okay, maybe the last point was meant for me more than anyone else but I hope you can all catch my drift.

After what seems like an eternity, I finally feel like a writer. I wrote a first draft of a children’s book last week and although I wrote if for my niece in mind, it still feels like such an accomplishment. On a nearly daily basis, I walk past a restaurant and lobby of a hotel. As I glance through the windows on my way past, I see men and women in suits; laptops open and paperwork surrounding them. I see them having meetings over a coffee and cake. I see them and imagine I am them, having meetings with my agent/editor discussing my latest book deal.

I joined NaNoWriMo  (National Novel Writing Month) for November and got as far as registering on the website and that is about it. Disappointed in myself I felt like a failure and soon became one. Life has a habit of getting in the way of my plans, particularly when my plans don’t involve other people. Perhaps that is why I managed to write the first draft of the children’s book. It isn’t meant for me but for my niece, who I am immensely close to. How do unpublished writers juggle full-time jobs, marriage and family commitments without letting anything fall by the wayside?

Once I sank to the deepest depths of my despair, I realised I may not be a published writer but I am still a writer, just an unpublished one. Besides I publish regular blog posts, does that not make me a published writer? Although it may work for others, I am no longer joining forums and groups that encourage their members to write a certain amount each day.  Even the post a week is difficult to follow and according to my calculations I have 5 posts outstanding. 4 after I have published this post. Instead I’ve now set up my own exclusive writing group: NaNoWriYe (National Novel Writing Year). I will each week, set aside special blog entries updating you on my writing progress, and I hope also helping you along the way.

How do I feel now? I’ll let the beautiful Alicia Keys fill you in…


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. grandmac
    Nov 13, 2011 @ 22:46:10

    Looking for Alicia Keys comment……..

    I agree with all you said. You can write just for yourself, it doesn’t have to be published for you to enjoy writing it.

    Keep going!


  2. Trackback: The Freedom of Positive Thinking (and Metal Structures) « Alphabet Games
  3. Trackback: The Freedom of Positive Thinking (and Metal Structures) « Alphabet Games

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