Handling Life’s Detours

Last night I joined my colleagues at an event after work. Partners were invited and so my husband joined me for the carol concert. I was hoping this would be a chance for us all to get to know one another, despite it being two years since I joined the organisation. Instead I was more or less ignored and not invited for drinks both before and after the show. This no longer bothers me though. I’ve come to expect it. What I enjoyed mostly that night was watching the conductor as he lead the choir and audience in singing. My father dreamt of becoming a conductor but out of respect for his own father who disagreed with his choice, my father did not follow it up.  After the performance, the conductor came back out onto the stage twice to receive applause from the audience. I smiled imagining my handsome father in that same suit bowing to his audience.

I think I take after my father in many ways. One that stands out at the moment is the fact that I work because I have to. His life’s journey took him away from his dreams and before he found his way back onto the path to his dreams, it was too late. Fortunately for me, I can just about see a light at the end of this tunnel  – that there is a chance that I can see my name in print. It will just mean a lot of hard work and dedication. Although I could not magic an extra few hours into the day and complete the NaNoWriMo challenge, I admire those who have. I need to work much harder to reach publication. My ultimate goal is not to actually be published if I am honest but to realise my potential and my ability to write a novel. I have decided that as much as possible I will work a minimum of 30 minutes each night on my writing. That way it doesn’t seem too scary a time commitment when I have a thousand and one other things to contend with.

In just the same way as you need to take the good with the bad, you also need to take the bad with the good. Interspersing what you enjoy in between what you don’t. It makes all the difference. Work is dull, it’s sometimes painful but it’s just a job. It’s not who I am. What I am is a writer, a dreamer, a reader. My father may not have been able to conduct his own orchestra but I want my life to be his very own one man orchestra. Love really is the best motivator.