The Struggle For Words

We are now 14 days into the new year. 2012. The year I promised my book WILL be finished. Yet despite this I have failed to write a single word in my selected notebooks or laptop. In terms of the children’s book, I’m stuck in finding an illustrator and although I have had quite strong interest from an American publisher, I’ve been somewhat turned off by their hard selling tactics. Distracted by Christmas; New Year and family commitments, my writing has taken a back seat. I’ve tried to combat this by sitting with my family, watching films and writing but it’s no good. I just end up staring at a blank page. Wherever I go, I carry with me a bag of writing materials, books and notebooks but rarely even open the bag. My New Year’s resolution? To spend just 30 minutes each day on writing, whether that be researching, reading or writing itself. I am going to be selfish and work on what I need to do. I will stop trying to be all things to everyone but instead be all things to myself. Don’t get me wrong. My priority will always be my family but writing is my salvation. Some people have music, others may have films, others use sport. I use writing. It always helps me to make sense of my past, to escape the reality of the present and to imagine a happier, more fulfilled future.

I used to implore my husband to help me to write as if he could wave a magic wand and make all other responsibilities disappear. I see now that it was wrong. It is up to me to help myself to write, it is up to me to take my writing seriously and show others that it should be taken seriously. I’m currently reading a book that is opening up a brand new path to the opening of my own story and I’m looking forward to spending the rest of the evening reading further. In terms of my children’s book, I’m tempted to leave it to one side. Then again, I think of who I wrote it for and ‘leaving it to one side’  is not something I am willing (and able) to do. Thinking about it now I’ve decided to send it to publishers – what harm can it do?

The next time I am asked my occupation, I want to say: “I am a writer.”


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. grandmac
    Jan 15, 2012 @ 22:19:30

    You will. Maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen!
    And you have written your first book already…the children’s one.
    Keep going!


  2. alphabetgames
    Jan 30, 2012 @ 13:34:51

    Thank you so much!
    The best thing is seeing things happen and actually being the force behind making them happen. I just have to learn discipline and patience….


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