The Silent Cry of Mothers

baby-fingers-motherWe  have seen a black US president, the UK is now governed under its second female prime minister, we have legalised same-sex marriages and depression and mental health issues are now beginning to come to the fore and slowly becoming less and less of a ‘dirty word’ attributed more to the unfortunate deaths of famous, well-known personalities than any form of social awareness.

Recently I have come across an article describing the unfortunate suicide of an acquaintance and a new mother. Rather than writing about her mental health issues and lack of medical support and diagnosis, sordid details of her death and her past have instead been published in detail in what I am presuming is a delusional act of raising awareness.

What puzzles me is why there was a need to report it so publicly online and via paper media ensuring that the details contained will remain within the public domain. She was not a public figure but a mother possibly battling the proven medical condition flippantly termed as the ‘baby blues’. Should her symptoms have been taken more seriously, she may still be here, watching her daughter grow.

Unfortunately there is such a fine line between the “baby blues” and post-natal/partum depression that many more women are suffering unnecessarily and in silence, particularly as it does not only affect ‘new mothers’. As with every disease, the longer it is left untreated, the worse it gets. The trouble is, those suffering from baby blues fear they have depression, and similarly those suffering from depression are not provided with sufficient care to have the mechanisms in which to manage their depression.


It has been proven by European scientists that pregnancy not only alters a woman’s body (sometimes permanently) but also introduces a chemical imbalance within a woman’s internal system that unfortunately also remains permanent, particularly if the new mother has a tendency for vulnerable thoughts and acts. In fact in just analysing the brain function of women, scientists were able to pinpoint which of the women were or had been pregnant and which had not. However, this was not mentioned in the article.

We need more social awareness of this condition following pregnancy and those entrusted with our care need sufficient knowledge and training in dealing with such symptoms. With regard to the sad and preventable story of my acquaintance to whom this blog post is dedicated, to have feelings of mental instability following the birth of her daughter and having previously been diagnosed with mental health issues but only being prescribed sleeping pills from her GP  is frankly a severe gross misconduct of care.

bad-momentsMore attention needs to be paid to the existence of post-natal depression so that new mothers are not living in fear of having their children taken away from them or being classed as bad mothers if they seek help. How long will it take before mothers will no longer be afraid to admit that motherhood is not a natural state for everyone? That it is a struggle and remains so for the rest of their lives? How many lives will have to be irrevocably changed before adequate measures are put into place? How many trashy, sordid and disrespectful articles will need to be written in the name of journalism, raking up feelings and hurting those left behind before a decent article is written that raises awareness of issues so many women face daily yet silently?

As a society we are proud of our changing attitudes to social issues yet depression and mental health issues remain on the back burner of our social conscience. It is as much a disease as Cancer yet sadly preventable if taken seriously and diagnosed properly. People should be treated as individual people. We should not be a tick boxing exercise and just because my acquaintance may not have had a troubling home life and had a secure and respectful job, does not mean that she was not depressed. Depression is not necessarily associated by external factors but is a mental health issue. A chemical imbalance. An unfortunate disease that can not be helped and is not the fault of the sufferer.

Due to the inadequate and thoughtless care from the medical profession and the insensitive, callous reporting, a little girl will have no memories of her mother and will grow up surrounded by the sordid details and may I say proven discrepancies of her mother’s death. If my acquaintance’s daughter reads anything concerning her mother’s death online years from now, I hope that it is this: your mother loved you and it was not your fault, neither was it hers. It was ours and I’m sorry.

Hands make heart shape

If you are experiencing feelings and emotions of post-natal depression or know someone who is, please do reach out for help.

The Samaritans 

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O’ Captain! My Captain!

RobinWilliamsMemoryI am writing this in shock. I am dumb founded. When my husband read on the Internet that Robin Williams had died, I thought it wasn’t true. We turned on the news and there were no reports. Inwardly I sighed in relief, hoping it was another of those sick jokes going around the Internet that a famous person had died. I guess we had turned on the news too early. Now it is all I hear. Now the news is sinking in and I have to accept it. Not only am I sad at the loss of such an amazing and vibrant life, but I am devastated that someone who was so loved could have been so unhappy and in so much pain.

When I think of Robin Williams, I think of laughter. I am reminded of a younger me curled up on the settee beside my father, watching Bicentennial Man. I am reminded of the endless jokes my sister and I still share over Good Morning, Vietnam. I am reminded of the popcorn scented screening of Jumanji with my mother and grandmother, during which my grandmother asked the  seat guides if they could turn the sound down. Only the other day, I was curled up under a blanket with my niece and nephew watching Aladdin. The list goes on. What I remember most is Robin Williams’ performance in Dead Poet’s Society. As a lover of the written word and an aspiring writer, the film struck a chord with me and still remains in my list of all time favourites. Only one person could have done justice to Mr. Keating’s character and that person was Robin Williams.

Depression is a curse. And a silent one. It is in no way a sign of failure nor is it a sign of weakness. The stigma attached to the illness is the greatest killer. We are now more accepting of HIV/AIDS than we are with depression. Committing suicide does not make a person a coward as Shepherd Smith implies, it is not selfish and neither do I believe, despite my own religious faith, it is a sin. In just the same way that a cancer sufferer gets tired fighting, so too does a depression sufferer. My heart not only goes out to Robin Williams’ family and friends but to Robin Williams himself.

Writing this blog post, I have no words. I am stunned.Yet I feel compelled to write in support of a man who bought so much happiness to so many. My words seem so little, yet I hope they will join the legion of others who have paid tribute to one of the most talented, versatile, heart-warming, actors and comedians to have ever graced our cinema and television screens.It is now beyond time to stand up for those suffering alone and in silence.

Rest in peace, Mr. Robin Williams. Your work, your humour, your smile and your heart will always be remembered.



Further links:
A Thank you note to Robin Williams 
Robin Williams: A Career in Clips
Robin Williams: Filmography


Should you be suffering from depression, please contact someone:
Depression UK
The Samaritans
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